Steve's High Profile Television Debut: Warning, Slam Poetry

[Alan]

Steve wrote to me: "I sported Tripleshot colours for my high-profile television debut. The fame and glory begins at 47:07. Be sure to listen to the anchors’ preamble..."
http://www.cheknews.ca/5pm-newscast-aug ... 15-111745/

My response?

Brazil, Tour de Victoria, CHEK TV: Steve’s Brown-Nosing Hat Trick

Thought we saw all, his kits and caboodles,
Brazil as a prize for Steve’s crappy doodles?
Steve’s off to RIO, quite the cool snag,
Now we get more of his blab, boast and brag?

So Selfie-Stick Steve is at it again,
Cycling more shite in the wind and the rain.
His narcissistic shtick couldn’t be brighter,
When he draws the big cheese, the local stud Ryder.

Brown-nosing works to skip paying the fee,
By milking this gig, this Strava-drunk spree.
Tactics so brazen, an act without class,
Has he bested himself kissing Tour de Vic’s ass?

Newsworthy too, our Strava-fetish geek,
Bamboozles CHEK, Steve’s “Athlete of the Week.”
We should praise Steve, we should stop dissing,
Despite his shameless Strava-butt kissing.

[Lund]

But wait, there was more.

I also wrote "Alan – this should be oozing with inspiration for your next stab, however feeble, at a dismissive/derisive poem…"

Called it!

Stay tuned. Rebuttal is in the works...

[Lund]

Poet of the Weak

Alan. Poor Alan. Your life must be dreary –
A dark little corner of wretched self-loathing.
Alone in the shadows, all woeful and teary –
A cowering lamb with harsh words as wolf’s clothing.

Is it hard for you there to watch life pass you by?
To see others succeed while you don’t even try?
The answer is clear to us all, you can bet,
Cuz your fiery barbs simply ooze with regret.

You seem to be stuck on some misguided notion
(That stems, we all know, from your low self-esteem)
That I garner attention through pure self-promotion –
A meritless 'à la Kardashian’ scheme.

But this is the thing (and herein lies the moral):
There are two kinds of folks: Those who do. Those who don’t.
When success finds the former, the latter will quarrel
Pathetically lost in “I can’t" and “I won’t."

But take heart, little Alan, and make a fresh start.
It’s never too late to break free from despair!
Come along on a ride – make some GPS art –
Grow some balls, be a man, have some fun if you dare.

[Bosie]

An easier link:
http://www.cheknews.ca/a-new-form-of-cy ... es-111715/

[barton bourassa]

That a really neat segment with CHEK Steve!