Tripleshot Cycling

Not all creatures were meant to fly.

But you never stop trying, Alan. And that — THAT is the wind beneath MY wings.

Please don’t feel sorry for Strava Steve

Just when you think the guy’s run out of words,
He’s back on the bike, he’s now drawing birds.
While everyone loves his interpretive dance,
Steve’s thing about Alan, some say it’s Bromance.

While Strava Steve’s hobby seems very athletic,
Some are starting to worry, he seems so pathetic.
But really its harmless, and mindless creation,
It’s jolly and fun, just like masturbation.

So leave Steve alone, with his style so spunky,
Drawing things around town, T’is like spanking his monkey.
Steve will keep writing he’s got lots to say,
Without meaningful work, this fills up his day.

There’s this guy who gets kicks out of waxing poetic
Though his friends (he has few) find it sad and pathetic.
To his rhyme there’s no reason; his meter, so clunky!
On the keyboard he pounds like a half-witted monkey.

As a symbol, the tiny-brained chicken’s a fit:
While he’s slow on the bike, Alan's slower of wit.
And certain as chickens will never stop clucking,
His poems – bless his heart! – they’ll just never stop sucking.

In his struggles with words, Alan’s pains rate as chronic
And his bashing of those who can write – how ironic!
Some might say that his childlike verse is quite charming.
Perhaps – though the substance is rather alarming.

His latest creation is starkly revealing
Of fantasies Alan must find quite appealing.
As his thoughts go to Lund they then leap to self-pleasure!
(Of a man, is this really a very good measure?)

Oh Alan – your verse would delight Sigmund Freud.
“So much longing spews forth from your cranial void!"
He would say – “This is textbook unconscious desire.
You’re a perv, not a poet. It’s time to retire."

I was just about to suggest that you two "Just get a room!", but it occurred to me that "Just get a tandem!" might be more appropriate. Then you could fight about who gets to play stoker.

John D wrote:"Just get a tandem!" might be more appropriate. Then you could fight about who gets to play stoker.

Alan apparently visualizes me more as a stroker than a stoker. Though a tandem might just give him a chance to experience what it's like to keep up with the lead wheel...