Tripleshot Cycling

Rule #5 from the Velominati (www.velominati.com/the-rules/): Harden the f*** up

And then there's Rule #5 from the Typographominati: finish your lowercase "b"s

Obey!

Ode to a Self -Employed Strava-Spewing Junkie

With nothing, no nothing more important to do,
He zips through our city, spins calligraphy spew.
Writes “Happy new year” on the streets of our town,
Then a demented headshot, a Picassoesque frown.
Then “Triple shot cycling” as clear as can be,
Revealing only one diagnosis, (it’s ADHD).
Now its blaspheme he likes to excrete,
Because he likes to be read from 10,000 feet.

Ode to the Armchair Critic

There are some in our midst who sport argyle with pride;
And it’s true, now and then they’ll come out for a ride.
But the rest of their time, they spend idling sadly –
Drinking beer, eating chips, writing poetry badly.
So I’d say, at the risk of appearing quite stuck up
Drop that pen, get your bike, and go harden the fuck up.

Scorch!
Clearly I've been already kicked off the podium as a contender for Post of the Year with that raging poetic rebuttal.
Obviously Strava Steve hadn't read the guidelines from the Poetry Society which clearly stipulate that curse words in rhyming couplets are verboten. It's just not done. So to reflect my hurt feelings I considered getting on my bike to write OUCH in large letters on the streets of this sad, lonely town. But since I don't have Strava that would be even a larger waste of time than unwinding the phone cord and staring out the window. Besides, real writers don't use their bikes, now that they've got the internet (sort of).

So down goes the gauntlet Steve: Next excursion on your bike I dare you to write "Alan Cassels Sucks" in large enough letters to be readable from the space station.... and while you're at it, might as well write "and he's slow, and mildly feminine and never wins the sprint and he cuts his own hair and wears clothes that don't fit, and has hairy nostrils and, and, and..." Dare ya. Dare ya. nya, nya a boo boo.

Alan wrote:So down goes the gauntlet Steve: Next excursion on your bike I dare you to write "Alan Cassels Sucks" in large enough letters to be readable from the space station...

Challenge accepted.

And just to clear up your alarming misconception of how Strava works, I don't actually leave a red trail behind me as I pedal around town. The only way the space station inhabitants will see this proclamation is if they have an Internet connection and follow me on Strava.

I can draw you a picture if it would help...

<makes the popcorn>

A haiku was all I could muster:

Wish I could poke fun
At self-employed club members
Sadly I have tenure

Steve- I hear that Mark Ford has taken up your challenge. Rumour has it that he's currenty planning an epic 1200km route that will reproduce Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel. HTFU indeed!

I went looking for my road on the Triple Shot Cycling Club BC 'map'. It's not included. But, that investigation exposed the fact that Steve isn't even restricting himself to streets/roads. There's at least one of those little neighbourhood connector paths in there (in the 'BC' bit). That's true dedication to the effort.

JT

JohnT wrote:That's true dedication to the effort.

JT

Finally…someone who sees this for what it really is. Not procrastination. Not frivolity. Not strategic avoidance of professional or domestic duties.

Just dedication, as pure as it is praiseworthy.

Just saw Steve pulling a U-turn outside my house at Forbes and Kings....guess there'll be some more art-work coming later today.

I clearly spend too much time at my desk working ( and I thought checking the forum was borderline time wasting ).

Kinda jealous

John D wrote:Just saw Steve pulling a U-turn outside my house at Forbes and Kings....guess there'll be some more art-work coming later today.

Artwork? Well, I suppose you could call it that...

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