Eating and Biking (and making poetry)

[Alan]

Someone asked me on Sunday's ride why Rolf and I haven't been sparring on the pages of the Tripleshot website lately. No reason; but the question did get me thinking of Rolf's many fine qualities, like the time at coffee one morning a few years back when he ate a big sandwich, with onions, and then jumped on his bike to go straight to the dentist. That says oodles about the very fine "je ne give-a-fuck pas" character of Rolf. With an old friend, Tim, joining us on Sunday's ride with his new Marinoni I spent part of Sunday's ride trying to find something that rhymes with Marinoni. Damn this new year's resolution, now I have to write a poem about these things:

Eating and Biking.

One fact is quite striking, about eating and biking.
And evidence galore, too strong to ignore,
of the strong correlations, to one’s gastric fixations,
And the steed one tends to adore.

For example:
Those dudes who aspire to a ham ‘n’ quail,
Probably prefer riding Cannondale.
And simple sods slurping green Jello,
You guessed it, they’re riding Cervello.
While knobs (like me) on an Armstrong Trek,
Suck power gels and goo and drek,
And those lovers of cheese’n’macaronis,
Look stylish on their classic Marinonis,

Yet Rolf who doesn’t give a damn,
will eat anything before a dental exam,
Bread’n’ onions to avoid feeling bonky,
then sallies forth on a steely Bianchi.

[Rolf]

It's not that I really hate dentists,
Nor am I Seventh Day Adventist.
The reason, I say,
I ate onions that day,
Is my hunger is fairly relentless.

And though that day steel was my ride,
I could just as well have been astride,
A bike finely wrought,
From fresh seaweed and snot,
And the onions still I'd have tried.

See, from the pleasure of onion's stink,
To fresh bacon, all lovely and pink,
I'm just a dude,
That gets into his food,
It's all the riding, I'm starting to think.

So while Alan wastes all of our time,
Typing out hogwash and rhyme,
I'm sitting here easy,
With just one more Cheezie.
It ain't right to call eating a crime.

[Paul C.]

Do you guys work or have kids?

[Rolf]

Nobody told me I get to choose just one!!

[John D]

Do you guys work or have kids?

Best one-liner of 2014 thus far.